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Today is E’s 4th day of kindergarten. There’s this whole new morning routine that we’re all getting used to. Waking up early, rushing through breakfast, getting everyone dressed. Why does kindergarten start so early in the morning? Ugh. Anyway, for the past three days, we’ve all gotten out of the van and walked E to her classroom. Today, I decided I would drop her off in the drop off line because I had to get back home to straighten up the house because someone was coming over.

We kept talking about how when I drop her off, she will go to the cafeteria and find her teacher, Mrs. H.

On the way to school, I asked her, “So where do you go when I drop you off?”

She thinks for a moment, “uhh…I don’t remember…”

The cafeteria. You go to the cafeteria.

“Oh! Right!”

So I ask her, “And what’s your teacher’s name?”

“Uhhh….I don’t remember…”

By that time, I was getting anxious. What if she forgets again (after I just told her for the tenth time)? What if she doesn’t ask for help? What if she gets lost? In a desperate attempt to not let my anxiety control my life—I always freak out about things and imagine the worst case scenario—I quickly got a picture of her (just in case) as we stopped in the drop off line. Once I opened the door and there was a lady there to help her, I told her again (where the lady could hear me) where she goes and her teacher’s name. Hoping for the best, I took off and came back home.

There’s an app called ClassDojo that E’s teacher uses. It lets parents and teachers communicate easily and parents can keep track of how many positive and negative points their child gets each day. They get 2 points just for being there! So, I opened up the app, and saw E’s 2 points for attendance for today! She made it to the cafeteria! She made it safely to her teacher!

I’m so glad I thought to check the app so I don’t have to worry all day about whether she made it to the right place this morning. And she got there in time to be counted present.

2 points for me, 0 points for anxiety. This time…

Every year, my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group has a meeting called Tea and Testimony. It’s a meeting where we have a catered brunch from the most amazing restaurant in San Antonio, Magnolia Pancake Haus. The bacon pancakes are the best! Anyway, after we eat way too many carbs, moms have the opportunity to get up in front of everyone and give their testimony, or just talk for a few minutes. Two years ago, our theme was Be You, Bravely. I spoke about a few things, including learning sign language, my mom, and my adventures in South Korea, and how I might have to walk back home—from South Korea. Rrrrriiiiiiiiight……

Whatevs….so, Tea and Testimony came back around this year, and I thought I’d give it a go again. Get up in front of people. And talk. Yeah, I’m so good at talking in front of people! I’m so amazing! Tremendous! So, luckily, (but oh so sad!) the babies got sick and I couldn’t go to the meeting. I was so sad because I wanted to fill up on carbs that morning. Anyway, one of my friends said she would read my speech for me since I couldn’t go.

Below is a version of what I wrote and she read. It’s not really a testimony, just something I wanted to say to everyone.

Moms, we have a hard job! First of all, we carry these precious little, tiny humans in our bellies for a while. That’s hard, because…heartburn, puking, constipation, and other gross things. And then after that joy is over, we have these teeny, tiny, fragile, little things that we have to keep alive. Thank goodness they’re not plants! Can I get an amen?

Infancy is hard because you don’t know why they’re screaming. Are they hungry? Do they have reflux? When’s the last time they pooped? Why did they poop 12 times today? When will they stop eating every 2 hours? (Mine still do this and they just turned one!) When they can finally hold up their heads, sit up, crawl, walk, you feel a little bit of relief. There’s always a little relief after every milestone, I think, but that relief is…brief…as we look to the next big thing these kids have to do.

My twins just turned one year old, and let me tell you, I sang Hallelujah, Praise be to God in the Heavens, thank you sweet Baby Jesus in Heaven! I remember, when the babies were just a few weeks old, telling another MOPS mom that I just wanted them to be a year old already!  Then we had to go through harnesses because they both had hip dysplasia. Harnesses, and sponge baths, for eight looooong weeks. After they got done with the harnesses, helmets! Helmets for 3 months! (They have beautiful heads now!)

After we got done with helmets, and had no more weird attachments on the babies, the next 5 months went by soooo fast! And I found myself wishing they were still little babies! Mostly because they can crawl and they get into everything now… Let me tell you…babies think the dog’s water is, like, the most amazing thing ever!!

Anyway, the point of this is not how ridiculously incredible my kids are…and they’re pretty incredible!…but the point is, I never would have survived this first year with twins if it weren’t for my mom friends. Ladies, we need each other! We need the hugs, no matter how much we hate hugging! We need prayers. We need food!

When the twins were born last year, so many people stepped up and brought us meals! I can’t even tell you how helpful that was! And when I was in the hospital for a week for that crazy infection after the babies got discharged, several people came to visit me, brought snacks, games, and fun things for E4. That poor kid had a really rough few weeks as a new big sister.

But I needed those visits from friends. And now, even though they’re getting bigger, I still need visits from friends. I need people to come to my house; I need to go to other mom’s houses. We need friends that we can turn to when we need to vent, or brag, and even when we have no idea what’s going on with our kids.

We need to get over our fear of being around other people; get over our feelings of inferiority; get over our hurt feelings of being left out. We need to stop comparing ourselves to other moms.  And we need to make friends. MOPS is a good place for that. And I know we can still feel lonely even in a group like this, but I think if we try, if we really try—and sometimes it’s HARD! It’s hard to try to make friends—we can have a few close friends we can turn to when we need help. And it goes both ways! When our friends experience tragedies—life changing tragedies—we are there for them. We take them meals; we go sit with them; we pray for them; we love them. Let’s be friends. Let’s pray for each other, and love each other, and laugh with each other, and for the love of all that is good and holy, let’s eat together!

Okay, so kids eat. A lot. Even babies! You fix them a sandwich and 10 minutes later they’re asking for something else. Does anyone else’s kids do this?

E4, for the past few weeks, has been eating everything in sight. Two waffles for breakfast, then 10 minutes later, “I’m hungry. Can you get me something to eat?” After a mid-morning snack, “I’m still hungry. I want something to eat!” Then lunch is large for a 4 year old. PB&J, yogurt, and usually something else. After ten minutes, she’s begging for more food.

The afternoon is the worst since there’s more time between lunch and dinner. It seems like she asks for a snack every 10-15 minutes. It’s excruciating some days.

And then there’s the babies…. A(X) is pretty happy with regular bottles, but she’ll eat other foods if I give them to her. But then there’s A(y). He’s a monster. At the tender age of 9 months, he started refusing bottles in the hope that I’d give him cheeseburgers. This kid is ready for Wing Stop. He’ll drink from bottles still, but he would rather have real food.

It feels like E4 and A(y) are already teenagers who eat constantly. I understand they’re kids and they need to eat a lot to grow, but daaaang! These kids eat a lot and they’re constantly hungry.

So, the other day I came up with a plan. It has worked well for E4. Kids love stickers, right?! I made a sticker chart for her (beware, it’s like…anti-Pinterest…) Throughout the day she can have 3 meals, and 2 snacks. And each time she eats a meal or a snack, she gets to put a sticker in the appropriate spot on her chart. So far it’s working wonderfully. It’s like a potty chart! But with food! She still asks for something to eat in between, but I tell her to go look at her chart. “You can’t have anything until dinner now since you just ate your snack…”

I try to keep A(y) and A(X) on the same schedule but we don’t do a chart for them yet since they’re only 11 months and 3 weeks old. (Oh, no! Guess we better start planning a party!!) They don’t care about stickers yet. All they care about is cheerios, graham crackers, and pooping through their diapers.

I’ve suffered from migraines for as long as I can remember—even as a little kid. I remember spending an entire day on the couch writhing in pain. As an adult, they became more frequent. There’s nothing worse than a headache so bad you can’t open your eyes, and you almost always vomit from the pain. I have several triggers. Certain noises, smells, and lights make my head hurt so bad.

It’s even worse when you’re pregnant and you can’t take anything other than acetaminophen. Acetaminophen doesn’t even touch a migraine. I even had a migraine when I was in labor with E4. Worst thing ever. I pretty much had a migraine every other day while pregnant with the twins. I finally found something that helped a little bit—acetaminophen with caffeine. Caffeine while pregnant? (Ssshhhh!!!!)

While looking for ways to relieve my headaches without taking medicine that could hurt the babies, I came across the daith piercing. Apparently there’s a pressure point on your ear—the innermost cartilage fold—that helps relieve migraine pain. When that area is pierced, it’s called a daith piercing, and supposedly, it’s supposed to help with migraines. It’s not proven, so I’m not telling you to go do it…just telling you my experience.

So…once the babies were born and I was done breastfeeding, I decided to try out this piercing. I went to a tattoo shop with a friend and got pierced.

And you know what? I haven’t had a migraine since I got the piercing. 5 months or so. Migraine free.  It’s amazing! There have been a couple times where I got close to having a migraine, but I was at work and couldn’t take any medicine for the headache. As soon as I got home from work, I took medicine and the headache was gone within 15 minutes. 5 months without a migraine is so awesome, you guys!  Anyway, that’s my story. Now you can decide if you want to get one or not! Here’s a pic!

 

We moved to San Antonio almost 4 years ago. We already knew one family here, thank goodness. In an attempt to plug in to this new, big city, I joined a group of women who have young children (MOPS—Mothers of Preschoolers). Before we moved here, I had a full time job, and didn’t need to find another full time job here, so I wanted to have a community of people who are in the same stage of life as me. I needed this group and these friends because being a stay at home mom is not easy. In fact, it’s the hardest job I’ve ever had! Making sure to have healthy meals and snacks for this little human who very recently had stopped needing bottles— what do I feed this thing? it’s only got 4 teeth!—and keeping her entertained all day long until Daddy (Misterface) gets home is hard work! Being a part of a group of ladies in my exact situation was good because we get to tell each other about the horrible poop diapers and they totally understand and don’t get grossed out! They understand all the bad mornings, kids who won’t eat, tantrums, and screaming babies.

Here we are, 4 years later, and I’m a member of two groups that I go to at least monthly. MOPS and a Mothers of Multiples group (twins, remember…). I joined the Mothers of Multiples group around the middle of my twin pregnancy. If anyone understands twin pregnancy and raising twins, it’s these ladies. Because they, you know, have twins… So they’ve been there. They know. Or they pretend they know, like most parents out there. Me included.

So, it’s time for a confession. I’m a shy person. Surprise! Sometimes painfully shy, and socially awkward. I find it hard going to these meetings. I go in, sit down, and wish for two things at once—that someone will notice me and say hi, and that no one will see me and I won’t have to speak. But I go in nonetheless. I do it to try to improve my social skills and not be so awkward. I also am human and have the need to feel involved and desire friendly relationships. I go to these groups to try to help myself. I don’t want to be a hermit. I want to have friends and get out of the house occasionally. When I go to meetings, I feel so weird, so I try to use humor to help. Sometimes it works, and sometimes I feel like an idiot. Almost always, at the end of the meetings, I leave quietly, not telling anyone, because I don’t want to attract attention, or have to speak. Painfully shy.

In one of the groups, people have (very recently) come to me and introduced themselves, and saying “welcome, new mom!” I’ve been a member of the group for over a year… and I’ve already met you! Don’t you remember? It’s very hard to go back when it feels like I’ve got to introduce myself every time and only a handful of people remember me.

Anyway, even though I feel awkward and try to avoid conversation at all times, I’m glad I’m a member of these groups and I torture myself by going to the meetings. I’ve made a few friends, and know I can always ask questions and get help if I need it. I’m glad people see me and say hello and engage in conversation. Even though it’s hard for me and I don’t want to do it, it gets me out of my comfort zone (synonymous with “my bed”) and gets me talking. Maybe one day I won’t be so shy and socially awkward and can laugh and talk to others without feeling so weird. But it is not this day….